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Celebrity Divorce Quotes | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Celebrity Divorce Quotes

Celebrities are just people too. However, they are people whose dirty laundry is hung out to dry in the middle of the public arena for the whole world to see. When celebrities go through divorce proceedings, they make statements and give interviews that have been known to produce funny, sad, and even touching quotes that may connect with many West Michigan divorcing spouses.

Here are a few.

1. Anna Farris

“Life is too short to be in relationships where you feel this isn’t fully right or somebody doesn’t have your back, or somebody doesn’t fully value you. Don’t be afraid to feel your independence if things aren’t right.”

Recently, divorce rates began to stabilize and drop because of the new approach Millennials are taking. Instead of seeing marriage as strictly based on emotional attraction, Millennials are tying the knot to help each other achieve their individual and common goals, make better use of their pooled resources and help protect each other from unforeseen circumstances.

In other words, they’ve got each other’s backs.

2. Reese Witherspoon

In a 2008 interview with Parade, Witherspoon said, “There are things in my life that are hard to reconcile, like divorce. Sometimes it is very difficult to make sense of how it could possibly happen. Laying blame is so easy. I don’t have time for hate or negativity in my life. There’s no room for it. When you make wrong choices, you have to take responsibility for them: ‘What part of this do I own?’”

There are always two sides to a story. It’s very easy to point fingers and assign blame but in the end, no one can move forward until anger is replaced by cooperation and an agreement is reached. That’s why Collaborative Divorce has become a popular option for many couples; the mutually beneficial outcome helps couples maintain a good relationship which makes responsibilities such as co-parenting better for their children.

In other words, Collaborative Divorce helps couples set aside the blame and negativity and work on being the best parents possible.

3. Jessica Simpson

“It was like a death in the family: You go through the mourning stage, then the rebellion, and then all of a sudden you have to find life by yourself,” she told Glamour in August 2009. “Once you do that, you feel complete—and that’s the only time you can truly fall in love again and give yourself over completely to another person.”

Wise words from Ms. Simpson regarding divorce and death. So many people have compared the two, saying divorce is even harder to handle than the loss of a loved one. The 5 stages of grief also follow divorce, which means the same outcome is inevitable for most people and with acceptance, the healing process can begin.

4. Jennifer Lopez

“There’s no pain or failure like going through a divorce.”

Sometimes it’s nice to know that celebrities, even those as well-known as Jennifer Lopez, have the same fears and doubts, and feel the same pain, that the rest of us do.

If you are facing divorce, please consult with a qualified divorce lawyer before making any decisions. Contact the experienced Grand Rapids divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Being Supportive when Friends Divorce | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Being Supportive when Friends Divorce

Married couples are not the only people affected by divorce. Many people have friends or family members who have been through the process as well, and when divorce happens to close friends or relatives it can also cause turmoil for the people close to the couple involved.

People want to be helpful when those around them are hurting or frightened. However, being supportive does not necessarily mean getting overly involved another person’s divorce. There are plenty of problems that arise when someone gives advice, chooses sides or tries to intervene.

Although they may have the best intentions, the advice provided by friends of separating spouses may not be relevant or helpful to the divorcing couple’s situation. No two divorce cases are exactly the same; the same decisions and arrangements very well will not apply to both.

It is also hard for people to remain neutral, no matter how much they try. When friends choose sides, whether it’s because they feel more loyalty toward one spouse over the other or because they perceive some emotional or personal gain from the relationship, feelings can be hurt and may lead to resentment, making an already difficult situation worse.

Friends close to the divorcing couple may trade information back and forth as well. In the search for details or information, rumors often start. This is even more of a problem in the Information Age, when every detail of most people’s lives often end up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

Rumors are problematic enough, but misrepresented information can have a detrimental effect on the situation, especially if it plants the idea in someone’s head that one of the spouses has been acting badly, by hiding money or carrying on an affair.

Unfounded concerns, that lead to rumors, can have an unexpected effect on the divorce case. In litigated or very adversarial cases, a rumor about hidden money or an affair may encourage one spouse to delay the proceedings, often creating additional expense for both parties. Very often, the more litigious a divorce cases, the higher the attorney fee bill.

Being supportive to friends who are going through a divorce does not require getting involved with the situation itself. Provide a shoulder to lean on or a safe place to turn, but allow the divorcing spouse to get their advice and legal information from the right professional.

If you are considering divorce or feel that itis your only option, be sure to discuss your situation with an experienced West Michigan attorney. In Grand Rapids, please contact the legal professionals at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Dropping Divorce Rates Influenced by Millennials | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Dropping Divorce Rates Influenced by Millennials

The US divorce rate has been slowly falling for several years. However, the decrease has often been attributed to the aging baby boomer population, who married younger and then divorced at an earlier age. Boomers often married more than once, adding to the statistics when their second marriage ended in divorce as well.

While Baby Boomers in West Michigan and across the country continue to divorce, even ending their marriage in their 60’s and 70’s, studies now show that Millennials are having an unexpected effect on the rate of divorce in America. Instead of following in the older generation’s footsteps, Millennials are staying married.

Millennials are waiting until school is behind them, along with other potentially stressful events such as the start of their career and the purchase of a house, before they are married. By waiting longer, both partners tend to bring less stress and uncertainty to the table.

Many Millennials are also more cautious about choosing a partner and settling down together, again waiting much longer than Baby Boomers did. Although marriage was generally seen as the next step in life after WW I and II, that view has changed over the last century.

Baby Boomers continue to divorce in higher than average rates as compared to other age groups, with some studies showing rates that doubled when couples reach retirement years. By marrying later, Millennials are eliminating some of the sources of conflict couples often face and are creating a more stable foundation for their relationships.

Fewer people are choosing to get married as well, which has also contributed to the reduction in divorce rates. Instead of following tradition, some younger couples are living together and raising children without the formal contract of marriage. However, this arrangement is often more likely to end in the office of a family law or divorce attorney.

Divorce acceptance may have contributed to the rising rates, which have been steadily climbing throughout the 20th Century. As the decision to divorce became more acceptable, couples that may have remained in a loveless marriage in the past have now chosen to consult with a divorce lawyer to bring that relationship to an end.

If you are considering divorce in Michigan, please consult with a family law or divorce attorney and discuss the modern options available, such as mediation and Collaborative Divorce. In Grand Rapids, contact one of the experienced Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Divorced Women on TV | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Divorced Women on TV

Divorced women have historically carried more of the social stigma than their male counterparts, even when they were equally responsible for the decision to divorce. Once divorce proceedings were done, women have generally been treated with unequal social scrutiny, often being treated as if they have suddenly become members of some lower caste.

This has been visible through the years on television, where divorce was never even mentioned until an unlikely hero brought it out into the center stage. At the end of an era when TV bedrooms had to show two beds and pregnancy could not even be discussed on air, Lucille Ball made a divorced woman the supporting star of her own prime-time show.

After her own divorce from Desi Arnaz, Lucille Ball struggled to find her footing until she talked the network into running her new show, which featured herself as a widow and Vivian Vance, or Ethel, as she was known in I Love Lucy, as a divorcee named Viv and Lucy’s best friend. The Lucy Show was a hit, and Viv became the first divorced woman on a hit sitcom.

Years later, Maude, the title character from the 1972 show featuring Bea Arthur (long before she was a Golden Girl), went through divorce as part of the show’s script. Interestingly enough, she would return to TV as a divorced woman in the 1980’s hit, The Golden Girls.

Shortly after Maude ended, Bonnie Franklin brought the role of a divorced mother of two girls to prime time. For many, One Day at a Time, which previewed in December of 1975, was the first to spotlight a divorced woman, and to portray her for what she really was – a struggling single parent facing the same issues any other parent would face, just without the support of a spouse.

One Day at a Time is often cited as the first show to feature a divorced woman, even though it was not even the second. It was, however, the first to discuss the issues of divorce openly and honestly, placing the main characters in realistic situations, which, even though the show was technically a sitcom, could be heartbreaking and difficult. For many, that tipping point brought the subject of divorce out of the shadows and made it a normal, dinner-time discussion.

The subject of divorced women was initially broached by an unlikely source, one who broke several stereotypes and paved the way for women to succeed on television. Lucille Ball made the subject more approachable, then Bea Arthur’s Maude made it more open and acceptable.

Bonnie Franklin’s character put the subject of women in divorce front and center of our TV screens for almost ten years, showing the world that divorced women were no different than divorced men. In many ways, the show proved what most people already knew – they had to work harder, often face the same struggles and challenges, and often do so with less support than their now-absent spouses.

Every subject has its tipping point, when someone finally steps up and boldly presents it to the rest of the world. These three brave women changed the face of divorce for the rest of us, and especially for divorced women everywhere.

If you are facing divorce, there are many new options available that may not have been possible when Lucille Ball took to the screen, let alone even 5 years ago. Educating yourself is important. Please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today. Let us help you understand the options, such as Collaborative Divorce and Mediation.

Contact Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Weird Divorce Laws Around the World | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Weird Divorce Laws Around the World

Divorce is difficult no matter where a couple resides. However, we Americans mostly face laws intended to protect each other from the bad decisions or behavior of the other person and to ensure that assets are evenly distributed between both parties.

Divorce laws are also intended to protect the children involved, ensuring they have every opportunity to enjoy a happy, stable future albeit it different than before their parents separated. The divorce process may seem long and challenging, but it is intended to protect the family unit, including spouses and minor children.

Other countries have strong laws in place to protect both parties as well, but there are also plenty of international laws that may seem strange to Americans. Some are left over from a forgotten age and should be challenged despite the probable good intentions at the time they were enacted.

In Australia, Aboriginal Women can become divorced from their current husband if they elope with a new partner. They can also persuade their husband to divorce them via the traditional route, but if that fails, they can simply elope and become married to the new person.

In the Philippines, a divorce obtained in another country may not be recognized under their home country’s laws. In this case, remarrying in another country and returning to the Philippines may constitute bigamy, which is a punishable crime in the country.

Traditional Eskimos can divorce simply by living apart. An Eskimo couple who no longer wish to be married can simply move out and begin living separate lives; they do not even necessarily need to retain an attorney. In the “Lower 48” as many Alaskan natives refer to the main body of the US, a law like this could wipe out the rental home market when one half of a couple who wished to divorce simply need to move to a new residence.

This last one is not technically a divorce law but is weird enough to be included here. In France, it is actually legal to marry someone who is no longer alive. Apparently, the law dates back to World War One when men did not return from the war and left fiancés behind to grieve for them. Laws allowed the marriage to proceed as long as there was sufficient proof that the couple truly did intend to marry before the other person’s death.

Divorce is difficult in America, but many other countries make it even more complicated to end a marriage. If you are considering divorce in West Michigan, please consult the experienced divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Can Your Divorce get your lover in legal trouble too? | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Cheating and the Law – Can Your Divorce get Your Lover in Legal Trouble, Too?

The story of a man ordered to pay his lover’s husband a total of $8.8 million dollars in damages made the headlines on several news sites this week, including CNN and Great Britain’s DailyMail.com.

When Texan Francisco Huizar involved himself in an affair with the wife of businessman Keith King, a North Carolina law provided the foundation for which Mr. King could pursue relief from Mr. Fransisco, who was sued for Alienation of Affection, among other claims. In other words, the lawsuit claimed that the man’s actions had caused the loss of affection between the two spouses, ultimately leading to the failure of the marriage.

Although most of the fines awarded were meant as punishment for the effects of the affair on the husband, $2.2 million dollars was attributed as compensation for tangible damages stemming from lost revenue related to the affair since the wife was also an employee of her husband’s business. And, for the loss of his wife.

Alienation of Affection laws were abolished in most states, including Michigan. North Carolina is one of a handful of states that still allow legal action to be brought against, not only an extra-marital lover, but anyone shown to have interfered with the with the stability of a marriage, including family members, religious leaders, and even counselors or therapists.

The Alienation of Affection law appears to infer that a spouse can be pushed away from a happy marriage by seduction, malicious intent, influence, or attrition and not through the spouse’s own returned affections, inappropriate actions, or self-interests.

To succeed on a claim of Alienation of Affection, there must be proof that a happy, stable marriage existed before the affections of the third party were introduced into the relationship and those affections created the turmoil which led to infidelity and ultimately to the failure of the marital union.

Although North Carolina is not the only state with Alienation of Affection laws still on the books, it does appear to be the most recent place in which this type of lawsuit has been filed. The $8.8 million dollar King vs. Huizar award is the latest of such lawsuits filed, but it is not the only one. Or the most expensive.

In 2011, a North Carolina judge handed down a judgment ordering the wife of a trucking company owner to pay a total of $30 million dollars in damages to her former husband – the largest settlement of its kind in the state’s history and the result of her affair that paved the way for their divorce. In 2000, a jury awarded a high school wrestling coach $1.4 million dollars when his wife reunited with her high school sweetheart 15 years after graduation and their rekindled romance led both lovers to divorce their spouses.

Although Michigan abolished the Alienation of Affection law along with most other states, there are other issues that can lead to penalties and problems for West Michigan couples considering divorce. If you believe divorce has become the only option left, please consult with an experienced West Michigan divorce attorney to avoid expensive pitfalls or legal issues.

Please contact the experienced Grand Rapids attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through your most difficult time.

The British Monarchy, Marriage, and Divorce | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

The British Monarchy, Marriage, and Divorce

There is a general fascination with the British Royals and their lives, loves, and even deaths. Most people have dreamed about what it must be like to never want for money, or to be treated like a King or Queen. However, money and power cannot buy happiness, and several members of the royal family have been the subject of high-profile news stories for that very reason.

The most famous, of course, is arguably Princess Diana’s split from Prince Charles. Her marriage was the stuff of dreams for many people around the world, and her divorce created more subject matter for the tabloids than even the ever-enduring Bat Boy could hope for. However, many people do not realize that Diana’s divorce was not the first for the Royals. It was just the most well-known at the time.

Before Diana and Charles, the biggest stir in the House of Windsor came about in 1936, when the future King Edward the VIII fell in love with Wallis Simpson, a twice-divorced American woman from Baltimore, Maryland.

In 1936, the Church of England and British Monarchy forbade marriage when the divorced person’s spouse was still living. Wallis Simpson had two husbands who were alive and well, making marriage impossible for Edward. However, Edward was so smitten that he abdicated the throne, giving up his right to the rule in order to marry the woman he loved.

It turned out that her entire reason for chasing Edward in the first place was to land herself in the big chair and become the next Queen of England, so Edward’s decision did nothing to stoke the fires of her love. She did, however, follow through with the marriage in fear that pulling out at the last minute would make her the most hated woman in England. She remained Edward’s wife until he died in 1972. Simpson herself lived to 89 while living in seclusion in Paris.

Because Edward’s brother, George the VI, was made King in his place, the shift placed Elizabeth squarely in line to occupy the throne, and to look rather stately in a tiara. Because of the royal views regarding divorce at that time, the destiny of the entire royal family changed forever.

There were a few other marital upsets before Princess Diana and Prince Charles separated in 1992, but none quite so newsworthy. Because divorce was traditionally such a difficult subject for the British monarchy, most of the breakups took place well out of the spotlight. Or, as far out of the spotlight as possible, anyway.

Times have changed and we are flooded daily with news about Prince Harry’s upcoming marriage to American actress Meghan Markle, who is herself divorced. Markle untied the knot after a short marriage to actor and producer Trevor Howard. Due to the Church of England’s and Royal Family’s softened stance on divorce, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle appear to have a real chance at happiness.

After centuries of unbending rules and traditions, even the House of Windsor and the Queen of England herself have acknowledged that love is imperfect and relationships may not last. The public view on divorce has made it into a non-issue as well instead of creating the stigma it once did. Today’s views allow people who can no longer find common ground to be released from unhappy situations without ending up on the front page.

Although we hope for all marriages to last, it is unrealistic to believe every single one will be a fairytale romance.

If you find yourself facing divorce or considering the process, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Weird Reasons People Have Divorced | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Weird Reasons People Have Divorced

Divorce is painful and destructive to those involved, however, in some cases around the world, the reasons people have filed can either be amusing or frightening. People usually get married for love, yet sometimes they get divorced for very strange reasons.

With all the latest celebrity divorce chatter, such as Russell Crowe’s divorce auction or Amber Heard’s sizeable donation, it seems like a good time to talk about something a little different. Here are some weird, unusual, or simply interesting reasons why people have filed for divorce.

In Italy, a 99-year-old man filed for divorce from his 96-year-old wife after 77 years of marriage when he discovered letters she had written to a lover in the 1940’s. She had kept the short-lived tryst a secret until then, but even after nearly eight decades together the betrayal was more than he could handle.

A Japanese woman filed for divorce because she and her husband had at least one irreconcilable difference. After becoming obsessed with the movie Frozen, she discovered that her husband had seen it once but “didn’t really care for it.” This, to her, was reason enough to end their six-year marriage even though it seems like her best option would have been to – Nah, not going to do it.

In China, a woman began to suspect her husband of cheating when their pet mynah bird began to call out words and phrases like “divorce” and “be patient.” The bird would also become more talkative whenever the phone rang which led the woman to put two and two together and fly the coop, no pun intended. The woman even took the bird to a local attorney and asked if it could be allowed to introduce evidence through its testimony.

Another Saudi woman filed for divorce after discovering her husband had been using a nickname to refer to her when he was outside of the house. When she picked up his cell phone to look for a contact’s number, she discovered the entry for her own number was one single word – Guantanamo. Even though he claimed it was a harmless joke, the nickname was too much for her, and she filed the necessary papers in court.

No matter what the circumstances, divorce can be painful and destructive to those involved and affected. If you are facing the uncertainty of divorce, please contact the experienced West Michigan attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through this difficult time.

Divorce Themed Jewelry | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Divorce Themed Jewelry

After wearing a wedding ring for years, many newly divorced partners become all too aware that the ring is now missing from their left hand. In order to fill that void, a new wave of divorce-themed jewelry has begun to appear in its place. Or, in the case of rings, next to its original place.

Available on websites as big as Amazon and through craft outlets like Etsy, divorce rings, necklaces, and other “bling” can take many unique and interesting forms. Although the patterns vary, many feature obvious signs of separation such as a cut or opening down through the item’s center.

Rings and Other Things

Divorce rings, often worn on the middle finger of the left hand, can be simple symbols of survival or more intricate designs that are only meaningful to the wearer. A popular option features a gold band with two small bars broken away from the larger design and creates a powerful message when the ring’s purpose is understood.

Other options, such as necklaces or bracelets, can carry engraved messages of strength, wisdom, or humor. Amazon carries jewelry aimed at divorced partners with messages including “He had it coming” or “I’m not giving up, I’m starting over.”

Many people have used the money gained by selling their wedding or engagement rings to buy jewelry that symbolizes their freedom or that provides a reminder that time can heal. Some have even melted their original wedding sets to create something new, just as they see the divorce process unfolding in their own lives.

Additional Options

Another option has recently gained in popularity. Instead of melting the original rings down to form new pieces, divorced spouses have sold their rings and donated the proceeds to charities for domestic violence or homeless women.

Divorce is difficult enough without a constant reminder of loss in the shape of a ring, or that ring’s absence. If a symbol exists for love, it is no surprise that a symbol would become popular for the loss of that partnership. Whether the symbol takes the shape of a ring, necklace, or bracelet it is the message of strength and hope that it carries, which is ultimately important.

To discuss the challenges of divorce, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today. Please let us help you find your way through this difficult time.

Three Great Stories from This Year | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Three Great Stories from This Year

2016 is winding down and the holiday season is in full swing. With winter roaring all across West Michigan, hopefully you are staying safe and warm no matter what your year-end and holiday plans may be.  Read more