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Divorce & Christmas

New Year’s Resolutions and Divorce

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For many people the New Year brings new hope, providing a fresh outlook and the feeling of renewed opportunity. However, the turn of the year also brings a spike in divorce cases nationwide when holiday events are over, family commitments have been met, and guests have gone back home.

Both spouses may have reached common ground and agreed to divorce after the holidays are over to preserve family traditions and protect their children’s holiday experience. If both spouses are on common ground they may also have agreed to preserve appearances and avoid explaining the situation during family gatherings or parties.

However, a spouse who has been unhappy for some time may use their New Year’s Resolution to commit to a difficult choice and end a rocky marriage and look for a divorce attorney in Grand Rapids to help guide them in the decision. Holiday stress can also become a driving force in the decision to divorce. Family visits, party preparations, and excess spending can increase tension and stress, and push an unsteady relationship over the edge.

One partner’s decision to divorce may blind-side the other partner, leading to angry and emotional confrontations. Even though both partners may know there is something wrong one may not be aware that other has become unhappy enough to leave, especially if any attempt has been made to resolve personal differences and repair the marriage. In that case, finding a lawyer experienced in arbitration may be necessary.

With any unexpected confrontation, emotions and anger become factors that can only make matters worse. As difficult as it may be, it is extremely important to keep a level head and approach the situation cautiously and to be as informed as possible, especially when there are minor children involved.

The situation can also create knee-jerk reactions and spontaneous decisions that could create additional challenges, especially if any discussions about finances, custody, or assets take place. As hard as it may be, the best options are to face the issue head-on with rational conversation or to step back until both partners have time to process the information and can talk through the issue.

An angry response or clouded judgment can make matters substantially worse. A snap decision could create an outcome which is difficult to reverse and has long-lasting effects on one or both partners.

If you are facing a potential separation or divorce, please – don’t make any quick decisions. Contact the experienced West Michigan attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through this difficult time.

Hard Truths - Divorce and Reality

Hard Truths – Divorce and Reality

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Divorce is hard. I know, I know – “Thank you Captain Obvious.”

Sometimes painful honesty is the best way to make a point. There are endless quotes about marriage, many by people famous for saying truly insightful things. Some of them are hard to beat for their blunt approach to the truth, and for the spotlight, they shine on the future.

“One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.” Jeannette Walls, Author

Few things are harder to face than divorce, even when a relationship has deteriorated to one filled with misery and pain. Leading up to the process, divorce can feel like a doctor just told you that you’re about to lose a limb. During the proceedings, it can feel like the same doctor is sawing that limb off while you’re awake for the procedure. A thus finding the right divorce attorney in Grand Rapids is so important.

“Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness and everything to do with strength.” Unknown

The idea of divorce can be hard to accept, and the process can appear to be so overwhelming that two people will choose to live in misery rather than take on the great unknown that exists on the other side of a failed marriage. Many people believe there is nothing else, that life can never be any better than the struggle they face every day.

“Divorce is never a pleasant experience. You look upon it as a failure. But I learned to be a different person once we broke up. Sometimes you learn more from failure than you do from success.” Michael Crawford, Actor

Two people may choose to hate each other under the same West Michigan roof instead of looking for kindness and love somewhere else. Partners may even choose to turn their head while the other cheats rather than accept that their marriage has collapsed. For some, accepting physical abuse can even seem like a better option than separating.

“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” Jennifer Weiner, Author

No one deserves to live in misery. No one should dread the start of each new day, or the slam of a car door after 5:00 pm. No one should spend their life avoiding their roommate, especially when there are children living in the same house. But sometimes getting a divorce can be better for the children. Although it will be smart to consult with a divorce lawyer regarding child custody.

“I deserve better, I deserve to be loved wildly, passionately, deeply. I deserve to be accepted and appreciated.” Samantha Matthews, Blogger

Many people believe that every marriage must be saved, but the truth is, not every marriage can be saved. Or should be. Sometimes, people who started out as friends should have stayed that way, instead of crossing the line and becoming romantic partners.

Too many people feel that admitting failure is worse than ending a bad relationship, but most relationships that carry on in sadness and resentment have already failed.

“I used to think that divorce meant failure, but now I see it more as a step along the path of self-realization and growth.” Alana Stewart, Actor

A fresh start is very often a frightening thing, but it can also be the best possible outcome for one or both spouses. Two people might not pull off a marriage, but they may have the potential to salvage a friendship, and a great friendship beats a broken marriage every time.

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings” Lao Tzu

Starting over is difficult. Please contact the experienced Grand Rapids divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today and let us provide you with the advice and guidance you need during this challenging time.

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Divorce – Can you Change Your Mind?

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Many West Michigan couples approach divorce believing that once the process has been started it cannot be stopped. However, it is possible to stop divorce proceedings if one or both partners are having second thoughts.

If there is any possibility of saving the marriage, or if both partners wish to try and resolve the issues that pushed them to file for divorce, then it is wise to discuss the steps necessary to stop the process with an experienced Grand Rapids divorce attorney as soon as possible.

In many situations, one partner does not want to go through with the divorce or feels that they are making a mistake. Many people enter into divorce proceedings feeling as if they may not have exhausted all other options, and they still want to fight for their marriage.

There are situations that can cause irreparable harm to a relationship, such as cheating or abuse, but very often divorce is not the only answer. If the relationship has not become so toxic that a reasonable conversation is impossible, then it may be wise to stop the divorce process, even if it’s only a temporary situation.

Many people don’t consider that marriage takes work, and that a little extra effort can rebuild a relationship that one or both partners felt was beyond repair. By entertaining options such as marriage counseling, therapy, time alone, or even just rational, heartfelt conversations between the two partners, a relationship thought to be beyond repair may be salvaged.

If you are having second thoughts about your divorce proceedings, or if you want to know what your options are before making a life-altering decision, please contact the attorneys at Johnsen Wikander for a consultation today.