According to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 percent of modern marriages end in divorce. The Center for Disease Control website reports that 6.9 per 1000 people get married, and 3.2 out of 1000 people get divorced. That means there is almost a 50 percent chance that the person you are sitting next to in a public place has been divorced.
According to Divorce Magazine, only 5% of all marriages will make it to their 50th wedding anniversary. Divorce is no longer a rarity, and admitting you are divorced is no longer all that shocking. If that’s the case, then why do so many divorced people feel ashamed? Why is it hard for so many people to admit to their divorce or discuss it with other people?
Many people see the dissolution of their marriage as a failure. They are often embarrassed to admit that their partnership has ended as if saying “I Do” in front of a room full of friends and family means they now have to go back to the same people and announce the unfavorable outcome like a shareholder report.
You should not be ashamed of your divorce. The divorce process will likely be challenging, although newer approaches, such as Collaborative Divorce are bringing simpler, more sensible solutions to couples who understand that their divorce might be the best resolution to a difficult and unmanageable situation. Divorce is a journey that many people take, some more than once, and shame should never be anyone’s traveling companion.
Divorce is not embarrassing. Divorcing parties should seek support amongst family members and friends, not guilt trips and shame. Many people do not know how to offer support and tend to pull away. If the people closest to you cannot be supportive, it is important to seek out positive influences and reinforcement from other sources.
Whether divorce takes place in West Michigan or the West Coast, shame should never be a part of the picture. The end of a failing marriage may bring renewal, with new opportunities for both spouses and a more stable home life for children. It may ultimately be a relief for all involved.
If you are facing divorce, please contact the experienced attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through this difficult time.