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Divorce and Friendship - Who gets The Smiths? | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Divorce and Friendship – Who gets The Smiths?

With any divorce comes the separation and division of assets and financial responsibilities. Items such as a couple’s home, cars, boats, and other tangible items must be fairly distributed between the two parties involved. However, there is another “asset distribution” that almost always takes place during divorce proceedings – friendships.

A couple’s friends seem to favor one partner over the other in many divorce situations, and those friends often take sides during the divorce. There can even be an impact on the married friends if one half of the couple chooses the husband while the other chooses the wife.

When friends choose to remain close to one divorcing spouse but not the other, several other issues can arise. Feelings of betrayal or abandonment can occur when someone believed to be a good friend chooses to maintain a relationship with the other spouse. This can also lead to suspicion if a female friend remains friends with the male spouse of a divorcing couple.

Aside from social discomfort, there can be another byproduct of the friendship split. Since a close friend can also be a confidante, or become one when they offer a sympathetic ear during a difficult situation, issues can arise if personal information is shared.

If a divorcing spouse tells a believable, but untrue, story about their separated partner, relationships can be destroyed. This is enough of a problem when the fact in question involves late nights or lipstick stained shirts, but when the stories are charged with hints of violence or criminal activities, no matter how unbelievable, friendships can be irreparably destroyed.

Exaggerated facts or outright falsehoods can become problematic when friends, and even family, are caught up in the moment and believe something untrue. However, that same information can also affect the outcome of the divorce if the information presents someone as unfit for child custody or creates the impression that either divorcing spouse’s financial situation is being misrepresented.

When divorce is unavoidable, it may be wise to inform close friends together in order to prevent sensationalized accounts of the crumbling relationship or misinformation about the reasons for the divorce. Creating a shared statement can avoid the spreading of false facts and may help maintain relationships after the divorce is final.

If you are considering divorce, please consult with an experienced attorney to review the options available to you before taking any steps forward. Please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attornies at Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you through your most difficult time.

The British Monarchy, Marriage, and Divorce | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

The British Monarchy, Marriage, and Divorce

There is a general fascination with the British Royals and their lives, loves, and even deaths. Most people have dreamed about what it must be like to never want for money, or to be treated like a King or Queen. However, money and power cannot buy happiness, and several members of the royal family have been the subject of high-profile news stories for that very reason.

The most famous, of course, is arguably Princess Diana’s split from Prince Charles. Her marriage was the stuff of dreams for many people around the world, and her divorce created more subject matter for the tabloids than even the ever-enduring Bat Boy could hope for. However, many people do not realize that Diana’s divorce was not the first for the Royals. It was just the most well-known at the time.

Before Diana and Charles, the biggest stir in the House of Windsor came about in 1936, when the future King Edward the VIII fell in love with Wallis Simpson, a twice-divorced American woman from Baltimore, Maryland.

In 1936, the Church of England and British Monarchy forbade marriage when the divorced person’s spouse was still living. Wallis Simpson had two husbands who were alive and well, making marriage impossible for Edward. However, Edward was so smitten that he abdicated the throne, giving up his right to the rule in order to marry the woman he loved.

It turned out that her entire reason for chasing Edward in the first place was to land herself in the big chair and become the next Queen of England, so Edward’s decision did nothing to stoke the fires of her love. She did, however, follow through with the marriage in fear that pulling out at the last minute would make her the most hated woman in England. She remained Edward’s wife until he died in 1972. Simpson herself lived to 89 while living in seclusion in Paris.

Because Edward’s brother, George the VI, was made King in his place, the shift placed Elizabeth squarely in line to occupy the throne, and to look rather stately in a tiara. Because of the royal views regarding divorce at that time, the destiny of the entire royal family changed forever.

There were a few other marital upsets before Princess Diana and Prince Charles separated in 1992, but none quite so newsworthy. Because divorce was traditionally such a difficult subject for the British monarchy, most of the breakups took place well out of the spotlight. Or, as far out of the spotlight as possible, anyway.

Times have changed and we are flooded daily with news about Prince Harry’s upcoming marriage to American actress Meghan Markle, who is herself divorced. Markle untied the knot after a short marriage to actor and producer Trevor Howard. Due to the Church of England’s and Royal Family’s softened stance on divorce, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle appear to have a real chance at happiness.

After centuries of unbending rules and traditions, even the House of Windsor and the Queen of England herself have acknowledged that love is imperfect and relationships may not last. The public view on divorce has made it into a non-issue as well instead of creating the stigma it once did. Today’s views allow people who can no longer find common ground to be released from unhappy situations without ending up on the front page.

Although we hope for all marriages to last, it is unrealistic to believe every single one will be a fairytale romance.

If you find yourself facing divorce or considering the process, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Divorce and the Five Stages of Grief | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Divorce and the Five Stages of Grief

The Kubler-Ross model of grief and mourning suggests that people go through five stages during or after a loss or tragedy, such as the death of a loved one. However, the loss of a family member or friend is not the only source of grief strong enough to create the cycle. Other life-altering events can also generate the same response, such as divorce.

It is said that divorce can be as painful as the death of a loved one, and many people go through the Kubler-Ross stages of grief during the process. Below are the five stages and the extreme emotions some people can expect to experience during their divorce.

1. Denial – many people will respond to the initial announcement or realization that a spouse wants to be released from the marriage with denial. Denial may be a coping mechanism to help soften the initial impact of an emotional or destructive event and can help to reduce the associated pain. In many cases, divorce proceedings may come as a surprise to one partner, and denial may allow time to accept the truth.

2. Anger – An angry response is almost guaranteed to follow denial. The betrayal associated with an affair can even illicit fury in some cases, but even the realization that a spouse has been considering divorce for some time can bring anger and resentment. Intense emotions may drive one partner to focus on little things that were considered annoyances, turning them into much bigger issues. With any divorce, anger is almost assured.

3. Bargaining – The third stage in the emotional rollercoaster associated with divorce is bargaining, which one partner may see as the opportunity to salvage the relationship. Bargaining may include attempts at counseling, or even one partner begging the other not to go while promising change or acceptance of the another’s own poor behavior. Bargaining can add additional time to the divorce process and may not affect the outcome.

4. Depression – The pain of divorce has been compared to the loss of a beloved family member or friend. In many ways, the dissolution of a marriage is just that, especially if one partner intends to move away or has already developed a relationship with someone else. Divorcing spouses can also see the event as failure, and depression may be accompanied by shame.

5. Acceptance – Once the cycle is complete, divorcing partners will reach acceptance and can begin to move on with their lives. Although other emotions may still exist, such as anger and depression, acceptance will allow work to begin so that divorce proceedings can be completed, and spouses can begin to reclaim their lives. Acceptance may not bring happiness, but it can at least help to reduce divorce-related stress and anger.

Divorce is one of the most emotionally challenging events a person can experience. However, as divorcing spouses pass through the five stages of grief during the process, recognizing the steps can help process the event and return to normalcy sooner. Once acceptance has been reached, there is a better chance at a stable, and even happy, life.

The emotional impact of divorce can be overwhelming. If you are struggling with any of the five stages of grief throughout the process, please consider speaking with a mental health professional who can help you work through the cycle. The sooner you can move on, the sooner you can begin to heal.

If you are facing or considering divorce, it is important to speak with an experienced attorney to discuss the options and decisions that are right for your situation. In West Michigan, please contact the experienced attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through this difficult time.

Weird Reasons People Have Divorced | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Weird Reasons People Have Divorced

Divorce is painful and destructive to those involved, however, in some cases around the world, the reasons people have filed can either be amusing or frightening. People usually get married for love, yet sometimes they get divorced for very strange reasons.

With all the latest celebrity divorce chatter, such as Russell Crowe’s divorce auction or Amber Heard’s sizeable donation, it seems like a good time to talk about something a little different. Here are some weird, unusual, or simply interesting reasons why people have filed for divorce.

In Italy, a 99-year-old man filed for divorce from his 96-year-old wife after 77 years of marriage when he discovered letters she had written to a lover in the 1940’s. She had kept the short-lived tryst a secret until then, but even after nearly eight decades together the betrayal was more than he could handle.

A Japanese woman filed for divorce because she and her husband had at least one irreconcilable difference. After becoming obsessed with the movie Frozen, she discovered that her husband had seen it once but “didn’t really care for it.” This, to her, was reason enough to end their six-year marriage even though it seems like her best option would have been to – Nah, not going to do it.

In China, a woman began to suspect her husband of cheating when their pet mynah bird began to call out words and phrases like “divorce” and “be patient.” The bird would also become more talkative whenever the phone rang which led the woman to put two and two together and fly the coop, no pun intended. The woman even took the bird to a local attorney and asked if it could be allowed to introduce evidence through its testimony.

Another Saudi woman filed for divorce after discovering her husband had been using a nickname to refer to her when he was outside of the house. When she picked up his cell phone to look for a contact’s number, she discovered the entry for her own number was one single word – Guantanamo. Even though he claimed it was a harmless joke, the nickname was too much for her, and she filed the necessary papers in court.

No matter what the circumstances, divorce can be painful and destructive to those involved and affected. If you are facing the uncertainty of divorce, please contact the experienced West Michigan attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through this difficult time.

Collaborative Divorce Revisited | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Collaborative Divorce Revisited

The news of Donald Trump Jr. and his wife Vanessa’s impending divorce seems to be everywhere you look these days. Updates are available almost daily while the world awaits the outcome for the President’s oldest son and his wife of 12 years.

No matter what the reason is for the couple’s split, one thing seems certain–they appear to be working together on one important task – co-parenting. Although divorce seems imminent, they have been seen together during several recent breaks and vacations amicably spending time with their 5 children.

Parents who are moving toward divorce have options available which provide a layer of protection for their children during the divorce process, and after proceedings are complete, that did not exist in years past. Collaborative Divorce provides couples with a softer, simpler route to the dissolution of their marriage, helping their marriage to end without fireworks or fighting.

Collaborative practice is an approach to divorce which allows both parties to work together to achieve common, and individual, goals instead of facing each other as adversaries. By engaging in the Collaborative practice, the couple agrees to work with a team of professionals to reach a mutually agreeable settlement without the involvement of the court.

Collaborative Law teams include legal, financial, and mental health professionals specially trained in Collaborative Practice. Both parties agree to full disclosure of all important information and then work together along with the trained team to create a fair settlement.

Collaborative practice can often settle divorce cases more quickly than traditional routes, allowing both parties to move on to more settled lives, creating peaceful, stable environments for their children. When both spouses have worked together to create a mutually acceptable settlement, co-parenting also becomes easier and less impactful on their children.

Collaborative Divorce may not be an option in every case; however, the practice can provide an easier path forward, allowing parents to maintain a working relationship once their marriage has ended. When children are present, their well-being becomes the highest priority, and issues such as custody and support are often agreed upon without stress or resentment.

If you are facing divorce, you may be unaware of the current options available to you and your spouse. Please consult with an experienced attorney to discuss Collaborative Practice and any other options that could bring peace to your family easier than traditional divorce proceedings.

For more information on Collaborative Practice, please contact the experienced West Michigan attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through your most difficult time.

New Divorce Trends - Online Apps | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

New Divorce Trends – Online Apps

There are many new trends in modern divorce that would have seemed far-fetched even ten years ago. Nesting, or bird-nesting as it’s also known, has grown in popularity. It is an arrangement whereby children live in a single home while their parents rotate in and out.

Cohabitation is also on the rise for divorced West Michigan parents. Cohabitation means that two parents continue to live together under one roof even though they have divorced. This practice allows both people to save money while continuing to provide a more stable home environment for their children.

Another current divorce trend is the creation of computer and smartphone applications which help divorced parents manage details such as visitation schedules and shared expenses. Post-divorce parenting apps can help ensure appointments are kept and arguments are avoided.

Some of the available divorce-related apps are listed below.

Our Family Wizard

Our Family Wizard provides divorced parents with a place to maintain records of all of their important information which can be accessed by each parent, their attorneys, and even provided to the court if necessary. The app can be accessed from computers or smartphones and, as stated on their site, “Helps keep Children in the Middle” by eliminating uncertainty and clarifying communication. The app even tracks access by each parent and allows reports to be generated.

Click Here for more information on the Our Family Wizard website.

2Houses

2Houses is similar to Our Family Wizard and provides divorced parents with a place to communicate, store and share information, and track all of the family resources necessary to effectively share parental responsibilities. The service includes calendars, expenses trackers, and messaging. There is also an information bank which can house important information such as emergency contacts, medical information, and more.

Access the 2Houses website here for more information.

Talking Parents

Providing an alternative communication platform to text and email, Talking Parents maintains an independent, third-party record of all important communication between parents that can be used to avoid or resolve disputes. Talking Parents helps parents maintain a positive co-parenting experience by keeping communication clear and civil.

Follow this link for more information on the Talking Parents website.

Divorce Force

Accessible from computers and smartphones, Divorce Force connects users with other people going through the process of divorce or those dealing with life after the fact. Divorce Force is an online community and support group focusing on education and support, where people can ask questions and share experiences with their identity protected. However, the site and app also feature other family management resources such as shared calendars.

Visit the Divorce Force website for more information

Sesame Street: Divorce

As part of their Little Children, Big Challenges: Divorce initiative, The Sesame Street team has created a multimedia resource to help parents communicate the many issues of divorce with their children. Primarily intended for parents with children between the ages of 2 and 8 years old, the Sesame Street Divorce toolkit includes downloadable videos, printable guides, and even songs. The focus of the toolkit is to help kids know they are loved and never alone, and to help parents navigate conversations on the tough topics related to divorce. More information is available on the website and through smartphone apps that provide additional tools and resources for parents and children.

Visit the Little Children, Big Challenges: Divorce website here

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day

For a bit of stress relief, there is even an app for your smartphone that will provide a Divorce Coping Tip of the Day. Created by the author of two books on divorce, these tips are full of advice and practical assistance instead of venom and ill-will. Although some references are specific to the United Kingdom, the advice is good for anyone who might benefit from a little like-minded support. And, some comic relief.

Click Here to find the Divorce Coping Tip of the Day app.

The Internet Age has created the ability to provide an application for almost any need, so it should come as no real surprise that apps are also available to help people with the challenges related to divorce.

If you are considering divorce or need more information regarding the process, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander and let us help you through your most difficult time.

Johnsen Wikander is not affiliated with, nor had any influence in the creation of, any of the above-noted resources.

EZ Divorce Websites – You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

EZ Divorce Websites – You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

An internet search for West Michigan Divorce Attorney or Grand Rapids Divorce will also reveal a number of do-it-yourself websites where couples wishing to end their marriage can prepare and file their own paperwork. If they meet the right criteria, it often appears that they just need to complete a few simple steps and can then go their separate ways.

This may be an attractive option for many couples, especially if money is already tight and there is little to no turmoil surrounding the separation. In some cases, it may even seem as if there is no reason to involve legal counsel at all.

However, as someone wise once said, you don’t know what you don’t know.

Quickie divorce websites can make the legal process appear so easy to navigate that divorcing couples just need an automated guide, to check a couple of boxes, and $139.95 to legally end a marriage. However, there are many potential problems waiting for the unprepared, problems which could have expensive and even far-reaching consequences.

Many sites advertising a quickie divorce are built with a “set it and forget it” mentality. Most people would never know if the site’s online forms are kept current, or in line with changing laws. If an important law is revised or new laws are passed and the related forms are not updated, divorcing couples could easily cause delays in their divorce proceedings.

Divorce procedures often differ from one county to another as well. Although quickie divorce websites appear to offer simple solutions, in reality, there are procedures that must be followed often depending on the couple’s county of residence. Mistakes in paperwork can add extra time and expense, or worse, mistakes could come back to haunt one partner or the other in the future.

Unclear or ambiguous language on documentation, particularly the final judgment of divorce, has led to many unanticipated issues with divorce cases that resurface years later.. Unclear language or misused terminology can create costly issues which need professional legal involvement after the divorce is finalized.

There are easier ways to divorce than entering a lengthy, expensive legal battle in court. Many legal teams such as the experienced attorneys at Johnsen Wikander offer uncontested divorce options and Collaborative Divorce solutions for couples who want to separate without a fight. These options can preserve relationships and provide a more emotionally stable home for any children that may be involved. Please contact Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you through this difficult time.

 

More than just Divorce | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

More than just Divorce

Many West Michigan divorce attorneys advertise other areas of practice as well, including arbitration and mediation. Many people, however, do not understand the difference between these alternative dispute resolution (ADR) methods and how they can be used during a divorce or family law matter.

At Johnsen Wikander, we provide more services than just traditional divorce litigation, and each option could help you achieve a better, less stressful outcome that does not involve the court system and potential related costs. These options also provide private, and sometimes faster, results.

Mediation

Mediation is the practice of working with a neutral party to achieve a mutually acceptable resolution to a dispute. The parties meet with the mediator and discuss their issues. The mediator attempts to bring each person to common ground in order to resolve an issue, often minimizing cost and keeping disputes outside of court.

The mediator will meet with each side of a dispute to negotiate their case and reach a settlement or compromise. This can be used to settle spousal support and child custody issues while keeping both parties out of court. Mediation depends on both side’s willingness to achieve an agreement and may not work for everyone.

Arbitration

Like mediation, arbitration involves a neutral third party who makes decisions regarding disputes outside of court. Unlike mediation, an arbitrator hears each side state their position and makes the final decision. Although the arbitrator is a decision-maker, they are making their decision outside of court, in the less formal setting of a conference room or law office.

Albeit more adversarial than mediation, arbitration can still keep a case out of court and reduce costs.

Many cases can be resolved without appearing in court or dragging an issue out for months to reach a settlement. By using an alternative form of dispute resolution, a more acceptable, less expensive, and more private outcome can be achieved. Although this may not be a viable option for all cases, it is always worth discussing.

Please contact Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you understand these alternative methods of dispute resolution. Our experienced team of attorneys can help you reach a cost-effective solution to your most difficult issues.

 

Social Media can be Divorce Case Evidence | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Social Media can be Divorce Case Evidence

Social media and personal messaging apps, such as those associated with Facebook and Twitter, are being used for more personal communication than ever. Facebook friends or Twitter followers are easily found in the list of contacts associated with the user’s account, so many people never bother to add them to any other contact list.

Convenient private messaging apps are also available for phones and computers. Some dedicated communication applications, such as Snapchat, are used to send sensitive information because their short-lived messages disappear from the sender’s account after a predefined time. Each messaging app and social media outlet has its own pros and cons, but all of them share something in common – their content, when discoverable, can be used as evidence in divorce cases.

Social media content can show a wide variety of evidence that may help or hurt a divorce case. Photos can be especially harmful, but text messages and online comments can be equally damaging when they contain proof of a lie or illicit behavior. A cheating spouse (or their friends) may post photos of themselves out to dinner or vacationing with another party, which may present usable evidence to a legal team.

Social media can also be used to prove, or disprove, a person’s state of mind at the time they created a post. Comments that threaten to harm other people, or the poster themselves, can affect important pieces of a divorce case such as child custody decisions. Even if the threats are hollow, they can still be used to show potential intent or instability. Angry messages or threats can even be used to justify a personal protection order.

Many people post their daily activities without thinking. Posting on social media has become so commonplace that people rarely stop to consider the implications of their actions. However, bragging online about a financial windfall or hidden wealth, or claiming to be unemployed while posting pictures of new cars or expensive vacations, could provide information that impacts property settlements or alimony.

For more information or a consultation, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander to discuss your current situation and let us help you through this difficult time.

The Truth About Divorce Rates | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

The Truth About Divorce Rates

We have been told for years that more than half of all marriages end in divorce. The entertainment news, friends, and social media spit out facts and figures that are often repeated until they become truth. But, what is the real truth?

We’re all privy to celebrity divorces when every detail is broadcast into our living rooms each night. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, etc; their struggles are discussed over dinner and in break-rooms across the country.

The real truth: divorce rates are falling in West Michigan, and nationwide.

According to the Michigan Department of Health and Humans Services, Michigan divorce rates have declined overall by more than 25% in the last 15 years. Since the 1980’s, divorce rates have been declining steadily from their most recent peak.

Although the general marriage rate has also fallen since the 1980’s, it has also begun to increase again in recent years. However, today’s couples are waiting longer before tying the knot, and one or both partners standing at the altar may also have already experienced divorced.

There are several possibilities for the drop in divorce rates, but there is little hard evidence. With many couples embracing marriage for the second time, it’s possible that some “trial and error” may be a factor. Couples waiting longer to get married may have also worked out some of the uncertainty other new spouses face when sharing a home for the first time.

Marrying later may also mean that both partners have had time to mature. Compatibility is now a more important factor in partnerships as well, meaning couples are more likely to experience successful, loving partnerships longer, and later, in life.

No matter what the reason, the divorce rate has definitely seen its peak, and has begun its descent back to earthly levels. However, there is still a fairly high percentage of marriages that just don’t work.

If you are struggling to find the truth about divorce, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today. Let us help you navigate the uncertain path ahead.