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The British Monarchy, Marriage, and Divorce | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

The British Monarchy, Marriage, and Divorce

There is a general fascination with the British Royals and their lives, loves, and even deaths. Most people have dreamed about what it must be like to never want for money, or to be treated like a King or Queen. However, money and power cannot buy happiness, and several members of the royal family have been the subject of high-profile news stories for that very reason.

The most famous, of course, is arguably Princess Diana’s split from Prince Charles. Her marriage was the stuff of dreams for many people around the world, and her divorce created more subject matter for the tabloids than even the ever-enduring Bat Boy could hope for. However, many people do not realize that Diana’s divorce was not the first for the Royals. It was just the most well-known at the time.

Before Diana and Charles, the biggest stir in the House of Windsor came about in 1936, when the future King Edward the VIII fell in love with Wallis Simpson, a twice-divorced American woman from Baltimore, Maryland.

In 1936, the Church of England and British Monarchy forbade marriage when the divorced person’s spouse was still living. Wallis Simpson had two husbands who were alive and well, making marriage impossible for Edward. However, Edward was so smitten that he abdicated the throne, giving up his right to the rule in order to marry the woman he loved.

It turned out that her entire reason for chasing Edward in the first place was to land herself in the big chair and become the next Queen of England, so Edward’s decision did nothing to stoke the fires of her love. She did, however, follow through with the marriage in fear that pulling out at the last minute would make her the most hated woman in England. She remained Edward’s wife until he died in 1972. Simpson herself lived to 89 while living in seclusion in Paris.

Because Edward’s brother, George the VI, was made King in his place, the shift placed Elizabeth squarely in line to occupy the throne, and to look rather stately in a tiara. Because of the royal views regarding divorce at that time, the destiny of the entire royal family changed forever.

There were a few other marital upsets before Princess Diana and Prince Charles separated in 1992, but none quite so newsworthy. Because divorce was traditionally such a difficult subject for the British monarchy, most of the breakups took place well out of the spotlight. Or, as far out of the spotlight as possible, anyway.

Times have changed and we are flooded daily with news about Prince Harry’s upcoming marriage to American actress Meghan Markle, who is herself divorced. Markle untied the knot after a short marriage to actor and producer Trevor Howard. Due to the Church of England’s and Royal Family’s softened stance on divorce, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle appear to have a real chance at happiness.

After centuries of unbending rules and traditions, even the House of Windsor and the Queen of England herself have acknowledged that love is imperfect and relationships may not last. The public view on divorce has made it into a non-issue as well instead of creating the stigma it once did. Today’s views allow people who can no longer find common ground to be released from unhappy situations without ending up on the front page.

Although we hope for all marriages to last, it is unrealistic to believe every single one will be a fairytale romance.

If you find yourself facing divorce or considering the process, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you through your most difficult time.

More than just Divorce | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

More than just Divorce

Many West Michigan divorce attorneys advertise other areas of practice as well, including arbitration and mediation. Many people, however, do not understand the difference between these alternative dispute resolution (ADR) methods and how they can be used during a divorce or family law matter.

At Johnsen Wikander, we provide more services than just traditional divorce litigation, and each option could help you achieve a better, less stressful outcome that does not involve the court system and potential related costs. These options also provide private, and sometimes faster, results.

Mediation

Mediation is the practice of working with a neutral party to achieve a mutually acceptable resolution to a dispute. The parties meet with the mediator and discuss their issues. The mediator attempts to bring each person to common ground in order to resolve an issue, often minimizing cost and keeping disputes outside of court.

The mediator will meet with each side of a dispute to negotiate their case and reach a settlement or compromise. This can be used to settle spousal support and child custody issues while keeping both parties out of court. Mediation depends on both side’s willingness to achieve an agreement and may not work for everyone.

Arbitration

Like mediation, arbitration involves a neutral third party who makes decisions regarding disputes outside of court. Unlike mediation, an arbitrator hears each side state their position and makes the final decision. Although the arbitrator is a decision-maker, they are making their decision outside of court, in the less formal setting of a conference room or law office.

Albeit more adversarial than mediation, arbitration can still keep a case out of court and reduce costs.

Many cases can be resolved without appearing in court or dragging an issue out for months to reach a settlement. By using an alternative form of dispute resolution, a more acceptable, less expensive, and more private outcome can be achieved. Although this may not be a viable option for all cases, it is always worth discussing.

Please contact Johnsen Wikander today and let us help you understand these alternative methods of dispute resolution. Our experienced team of attorneys can help you reach a cost-effective solution to your most difficult issues.

 

Divorce Doesn’t Have to be Destructive | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Divorce Doesn’t Have to be Destructive

The Cambridge Dictionary website defines Collaboration as – The situation of two or more people working together to create or achieve the same thing.

The Business Dictionary website gives a similar description – Cooperative arrangement in which two or more parties (which may or may not have any previous relationship) work jointly towards a common goal.

No matter which way you definite it, the word Collaboration ends with the same simple but powerful message. People working together to achieve a common goal.

Divorce doesn’t have to be a battle, pitting West Michigan spouse against spouse with their children stuck in the center of the fight. There doesn’t have to be a winner or loser, and assets don’t need to be treated like the spoils of war.

There is another way.

Collaborative Divorce is becoming much more common today, providing a way that couples can bring their marriage to a close without the stress, expense, and potentially combative environment that is common with traditional divorce cases.

Instead of hiring divorce attorneys to litigate their case, Collaborative Divorce provides family law attorneys a path forward which keeps the case out of the courts. The result is a more respectful and private outcome that can even preserve family relationships and ensure both parties can effectively co-parent their children once the process is complete.

Instead of placing decisions in the hands of judges and court systems, Collaborative Divorce gives couples the option of working with a team of professionals trained in Collaborative Practice. Spouses who have decided to divorce, using the Collaborative process, work with financial specialists, mental health professionals and family law attorneys to work toward their common goals. This process also makes their children’s security a top priority.

The experienced team at Johnsen Wikander are trained in Collaborative Divorce and welcome the opportunity to handle your divorce case with mutual respect and consideration. Please contact us today to discuss the options available to you during this difficult time– options which focus on the family and the future such as Collaborative Divorce.

Divorce Themed Jewelry | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Divorce Themed Jewelry

After wearing a wedding ring for years, many newly divorced partners become all too aware that the ring is now missing from their left hand. In order to fill that void, a new wave of divorce-themed jewelry has begun to appear in its place. Or, in the case of rings, next to its original place.

Available on websites as big as Amazon and through craft outlets like Etsy, divorce rings, necklaces, and other “bling” can take many unique and interesting forms. Although the patterns vary, many feature obvious signs of separation such as a cut or opening down through the item’s center.

Rings and Other Things

Divorce rings, often worn on the middle finger of the left hand, can be simple symbols of survival or more intricate designs that are only meaningful to the wearer. A popular option features a gold band with two small bars broken away from the larger design and creates a powerful message when the ring’s purpose is understood.

Other options, such as necklaces or bracelets, can carry engraved messages of strength, wisdom, or humor. Amazon carries jewelry aimed at divorced partners with messages including “He had it coming” or “I’m not giving up, I’m starting over.”

Many people have used the money gained by selling their wedding or engagement rings to buy jewelry that symbolizes their freedom or that provides a reminder that time can heal. Some have even melted their original wedding sets to create something new, just as they see the divorce process unfolding in their own lives.

Additional Options

Another option has recently gained in popularity. Instead of melting the original rings down to form new pieces, divorced spouses have sold their rings and donated the proceeds to charities for domestic violence or homeless women.

Divorce is difficult enough without a constant reminder of loss in the shape of a ring, or that ring’s absence. If a symbol exists for love, it is no surprise that a symbol would become popular for the loss of that partnership. Whether the symbol takes the shape of a ring, necklace, or bracelet it is the message of strength and hope that it carries, which is ultimately important.

To discuss the challenges of divorce, please contact the experienced West Michigan divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today. Please let us help you find your way through this difficult time.

Holiday Stress and Divorce Remorse | Johnsen Wikander P.C. West Michigan Divorce Attorneys

Holiday Stress and Divorce Remorse

For someone going through separation or divorce the holiday season may seem more like a challenge to be overcome than an opportunity to celebrate family bonds and friendship. Social events like Thanksgiving may be accompanied by feelings of sadness or loneliness for someone who is newly single, especially for a parent facing their first holiday without their children.

Even West Michigan family gatherings can seem like overwhelming situations involving endless explanations and unwanted attention. Parents may hover over their newly divorced child, smothering them when they need room to breathe and adjust. Friends and relatives may push their “help” by offering unwanted or inappropriate advice, or worse, they may dig for information they can use to spread rumors and gossip.

Holiday parties can also be difficult for newly divorced people. Friends may be loyal to one person or the other, potentially leaving a void where one is unexpected. Parties can present another challenge when both newly divorced people are invited. Well-meaning friends may intentionally invite them both to try to patch up a failed relationship, creating more stress or increased tension.

Holidays in Grand Rapids will be hard on the children of divorced parents as well, whether they spend the day with only one parent, or split the day between both. Children spending the day with only one parent may wish to be with the other, or, if they are younger, they may not understand why only one parent is present on such a special day. If they are shuttled between two households, they may feel overwhelmed by the situation or by an overabundance of attention from concerned adults.

For newly divorced partners, and especially parents, it is important to think ahead to the coming holiday season and prepare for the changes to routines, events, and travels that you may encounter. It is also important to avoid situations which fuel loneliness and anger, and which can create discomfort or stress.

When children are involved, planning events, such as visitation days ahead of time, will reduce stress and tension between parents. Children are especially affected by divorce during the holiday season since family traditions may be replaced by new routines and potentially twice as much activity. A special day can quickly be reduced to a series of transitions and extra travel.

Divorce creates a new normal for everyone involved, which will improve with time. However, it is also important to fill that time with positive actions and events. Choosing to participate in volunteer opportunities can provide distraction, as well as feelings of accomplishment and charity. Changing routines can also eliminate stress by removing expectations.

Surviving the holidays may not be easy for some time after divorce, however, things will improve with time. For more information, please contact the Grand Rapids divorce attorneys at Johnsen Wikander today.

Choosing Sides: The Impact of Divorce on Friendships

West Michigan residents tend to be very social, developing strong relationships with people in and out of work, organizational, or religious environments. As social beings, almost all people want to feel like they are part of a group, and friendships provide the natural support system that goes with being an accepted part of a larger whole.

Divorce proceedings can create stress for the people on the outside of the relationship as well as the divorcing spouses. The process often pulls friends and acquaintances into the middle, forcing people who had allegiances with both partners into the uncomfortable position of choosing who they will continue to socialize with when divorce proceedings are complete.

People who choose to remain friends with adversarial divorcing spouses may find it difficult to maintain an allegiance with both. These people may find themselves caught in one partner’s struggle for information about the other, or victims of one’s jealousy regarding the other’s relationship.

Psychology Today reports that married couples rarely stay friends with either divorced partner, and divorced singles rarely remained friends with a strong couple. The married relationship often reminds the divorced individual of what they had lost and creates feelings of remorse or depression.

For couples, remaining friends with a divorced partner is often identified as the source of their own marital strife. New lives, new situations, and new opportunities can be attractive to one or both spouses who are having doubts about their own situation, and they may decide to abandon their friendship as a defensive measure.

Divorcing couples need to remember that people are not an asset to be divided, like furniture or capital. Friends of both partners may naturally choose to remain as part of one spouse’s life or another, but putting them in the middle or demanding they pick a side will almost certainly drive them away.

Friends are natural support systems and few situations create more stress or challenges than divorce. In times of need, we all want a shoulder to cry on or strong back to help us move forward. However, it is important to let other people find their own way through your divorce and come out wherever they feel safest.

That may mean they follow the other partner, keep their distance, or decide to simply disappear. In any case it’s best to let them stand where they are the most comfortable, even if it means the loss of a best friend.

Divorce is difficult, but an experienced divorce attorney can help. Please contact us at Johnsen Wikander in Grand Rapids with your questions and allow us to be your support system during your time of need.